Seventy Percent Chance of An Abusive Relationship
by gardapati
Summary: The trials of having your (idiotic) friends setting you up with your longtime crush. Or: Kousaka Honoka, master of heartbreaks. Or: "Niko and Maki should get a room and stop interfering with my love life already." — Honoka, Muse.
1. Chapter 1

Honoka glowers menacingly at her homework, begging to be done. She _is _trying to focus, even with the noises and ruckus her friends are making right now. The numbers printed across the page are starting to look more like alien alphabets. Even though she's supposed to be used to the dumb antics and life trials she's learned to endure with in her life, the situation and the hellish being called math homework are starting to drive her insane.

"I hereby announce our first meeting in assisting Honoka's glorious teenage romantic comedy love life," Niko declares to the table, standing tall and proud and confident, "or lack thereof." Hanayo and Rin give out a round of applause while the others simply stare at the leader with pity in their eyes.

"Hey, I resent that!" Honoka winces, looking up from the jumbled mess that is her calculus homework.

Niko bangs her rolled up math notebook to the table, dangerously near Honoka's cellphone. Honoka suffers a pseudo-heart attack."Rin, a brief explanation of the situation, please."

Rin rises from her seat, hands on her sides and her back straightened, adopting a military-esque pose, "We've noticed how Honoka-chan seems to be troubled over something, nyaa!"

"Troubled by _you people_, you meant." Maki retorts. Niko knocks the girl with her newly weaponized math notebook.

Rin continues, "Judging by how scattered her brains are for the past few weeks and the longing looks some has witnessed from her towards a certain maiden, this calls for investigation, nyaa!" Niko givesher a thumb up, and motions the girl to sit back in her seat.

"To put it simply," Niko coughs, adjusting her voice to sound like a drill sergeant, then turns to Honoka, "you _are_ in love," she points to the frowning girl with her notebook, "but unfortunately, you can't get the girl you like to like you."

"How tragic!" Hanayo wails, wiping a few droplets of tears from the edge of her eyes, earning a groan from Maki. Niko whacks Maki in the head with her math notebook. Maki shoots her a nasty look, teeth gritted.

"And that is why I have gathered all of you here, as this is a super _important_ discussion."

Eri laughs dryly, Nozomi begins to cackle slyly, Maki feigns a mocking yawn, and Honoka secretly plans an escape route to the library with her homework in tow.

"Now, commence, Project: Sonoda-Kousaka Alliance Nudging Kousaka!" Niko says with a voice louder than before, apparently proud of the name she has bestowed upon the project, as cringe-worthy it actually is.

"Project..._'skank'_?" Eri cocks an eyebrow. Niko pounds her notebook-slash-mace to Eri's head.

Honoka decides it's time for her to step in. "And how will this help my, err, _glorious teenage _one-sided _romantic comedy love life_?"

"Of course, Niko here has prepared a _marvelously-crafted _plan to tie your red string of fate with hers, starting with information gathering."

"You're not going to ask her straight-out whether she likes me or not, right." Honoka gapes in horror, blood drained from her face.

"Nah, we'll sneakily approach the subject."

"But—"

This time Nozomi stands up from her seat, hands clasped in front, "Ah, yes, we understand your raging, uncontrollable desire to get under Umi's skirt," she sends Honoka an impish smile fresh from the kitchen of the deepest pit of Hell itself and Honoka shivers in reflex, "but love is all about patience."

"No. _No_."

Niko searches her bag and pulls out a radio transmitter, and Honoka has an idea where this is going _and _she's not going to like it, "Kotori is with her right now. This radio here," she shoves the radio for everyone to see, "is connected to the one Kotori is holding. We're tuning in to their conversation."

"Oh, ooooh," Rin claps her in the back, "cool! It's like we're some kind of undercover agents!"

Honoka rests her head on the top of the wooden table and wonders if it's possible for her to change school for a day.

* * *

Honoka is only here because without her supervision she fears for her actually-not-that-much-of-a-secret crush will not only be known to the girl she likes, but the entire school body. Considering the chance of Umi liking her back is nearly non-existent, "Project: SKANK" screams failure and the destruction of any self-confidence she has build for years of crushing over the aptly-nicknamed cold maiden. Also, humiliation on her part.

Right now they are sitting still on their seats, gazes locked onto the walkie-talkie placed in the center of the table. Each of them resisting the urge to lean forward due to the suspense and excitement. Honoka is the only one thoroughly not excited at her incoming doom at all.

The radio makes some static noises and everyone jump from their seats. Niko gripped the rolled up notebook tightly, and Honoka mentally notes that the notebook used to look not as worn-out as it is now. "It's starting!"

"_Umi-chan, Umi-chan, can I ask you something?_" Honoka notices the voice as Kotori's.

"_Is something the matter, Kotori? I mean, sure, but you look really…serious, right now."_

"Sneakily approach the subject! Sneakily." Niko shouts at the walkie-talkie and Kotori makes a yelping sound. Honoka pities the poor girl.

"_Um, Umi-chan—"_

_It's okay, Honoka,_ she encourages herself, _sneakily_.

"—_what do you think of Honoka-chan? Like, um, do you…_like _her_?"

"WHICH PART OF THAT WAS _SNEAKY_?" Honoka snaps, banging her fists on the table, oblivious of how she nearly crushed her phone with her own hands. Kotori makes another yelping sound as she hears Honoka's yell crystal clear through the walkie-talkie.

"Calm down Honoka, you're being impatient." Eri lectures her while Rin motions her to sit back down.

"OH, SHEESH, MIRROR PLEASE—"

"_Ehh? Why so sudden, Kotori…" _Honoka stops dead on her rant about the innocence of a girl's crush and the degrading moral of humanity as soon as she picks up Umi's voice.

"_Um! Just curious!"_

"_Honoka is…a friend? Of course I like her. The three of us have been friends since forever, right? Although…if I must say, she's…"_

Honoka gulps. Rin's eyes are narrowed like a cat peering to its prey. Hanayo flutters in her seat. Eri's lips are pursed. Maki clings to Niko in an effort to calm herself down. Niko is not amused. Nozomi _is _amused at the others' reactions.

"_She's…a slacker! Lazing and goofing around at any time possible, she's truly NOT an example of how a leader should be! She lacks discipline!"_

There was a sound akin to a glass cracking before shattering into pieces. Everyone in the room quickly turns their head to the one and only Kousaka Honoka, master of heartbreaks.

"O, woe is me," Honoka deadpans, "how a statement can fracture the heart of a _pure _maiden!"

Niko racks her brain to find something consoling before she settles with, "Our condolences."

Honoka stands up from her seat with her school bag slung over. She swears she heard a sizzling sound of headache from the back of her skull. "I'm going home! I – I've had enough!" She gives up trying to hold the tears that were threatening to burst, and hurriedly scurries out of the room, leaving trails of emo tears behind. A sickening silence kicks in.

"Well, duh, lessons learned: do not trust someone like Niko-chan to get their hands on your love life." Maki throws in her comment which earns another one of Niko's now legendary whacks. "Ugh, put that thing down already!"

"And that's why you're still single," Niko shrugs with an insulting lopsided smirk curving her lips, "but it's okay, someone as patient as me, the wise Niko-nii, will kindly take your hand even when you're ripe and old and still unmarried and lonely as ever!"

"Oh you –"

Nozomi shushes the two. "Please, spare us your lovers' quarrel – "

"I'm not her lover!" "Who're you calling lovers?!"

" – as the show has yet to be over." She side-eyes the walkie-talkie. Niko and Maki quickly clamp their mouth shut.

* * *

"_But…even so, I must say, at times…Honoka is rather dependable. I guess she's just the last-minute kind of person. Don't you think so, Kotori?"_

"_Um, yup! You really do love Honoka-chan, don't you, Umi-chan~?"_

"H-here it comes!" "Nyaaa!" "I wonder just how heartbreaking this story can get…" "Don't say that, Nozomi!"

"_Ahaha, please, enough with the jokes already, Kotori. The answer is obvious, isn't it? Of course I __**don't**_._"_

* * *

**Notes**: [1] A multi-chaptered fic by me, featuring the "ship that no one ships", HonoUmi.

[2] HonoUmi aside, this fic will be mostly about Honoka. I dunno, just in the mood of writing her.

[3] This chapter is inspired by FT Island's "I Will". Real catchy. Give the song a listen when you're free.

[4] Next chapter will have a lot of NikoMaki in it. Please look forward to it!

[5] Thanks for reading this crap. Reviews are appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes**: [1] an apology – the NikoMaki-centric chapter will be the next due to various reasons, like, the fact that the things I have planned out for them didn't fit into this chapter :( though there are NikoMaki bits here and there. You _can't _write a fic without subconsciously writing in a NikoMaki. I swear. **The NikoMaki is absolute.**

[UPDATE] [2] I have created a poll in my profile. Give it a click!

[3] I am sad at the lack of feedbacks :( Please tell me your thoughts. Also, correct me if you spot a grammatical/spelling mistake!

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_My name is Kousaka Honoka and my friends suck. Christmas is still a month away but please, Gods of the shrine or even Santa himself, please grant me my one and only wish. _

_Truly, from the deepest part of my heart, I wish for better frien—_

"I didn't give you a journal for this." Niko snatches the journal away, bringing it up above her head. Honoka tries to reach out, but since she's sitting still the journal is out of her reach and she doesn't bother to stand up. She can tower her midget of a senior just fine. There's just not enough of a reason to.

Honoka feels the urge to roll her eyes, but self-restraint prevents her from doing so. Or maybe she's just too tired what with the whole matchmaking deal she didn't even approve of. Mental fatigues aside, she manages to glare at the older girl. If looks could kill, Niko would be already down there, six feet beneath her feet right now. "It's a journal. I am recording things. Like," she moves her gaze upwards towards the ceiling of the club room, and catches the epic of two cicadas biting each others' tails off, "my own personal take of Project: Skank."

Niko takes a seat beside her, half-throwing the journal to the wooden table, making a quite loud banging noise. She crosses her hands in front of her chest and says a truckload of scolding, like, '_This is not how you pay for your friends' kindnesses_' and, '_Not our fault your crush hates you with every fiber of her being_'. Honoka may or may not poison the girl the next time they have lunch together. "It's okay. Umi has archery club later and it should keep her busy for a while."

"No, no, no, no, Niko-chan!"

"We'll hold the second official meeting of Project: SKANK," Niko says, eyes gleaming with confidence, "it's alright, Honoka. You can thank us later."

"Why don't you leave poor me alone and go make out with Maki-chan or something?"

"No what are you talking about I would never do that ever."

"Uh…"

"Wh, what."

Honoka stares at her senior with a surprisingly obvious killing intent. Niko, however, is totally oblivious to it. "Fine. I'll give you guys another chance and let's see if you all can save my situation…"

Niko puts a hand on her shoulder and gives her back her journal with another. Honoka notices how the top right corner of the whole book is slightly askew, probably due to the impact against the table earlier. But still, the thing used to look fairly new-looking…

"Also, cheer up already, will you. You're starting to sound like, I dunno, Not Honoka. Like, Honoka, but not really Honoka."

Honoka sighs, and prepares for the worst anyway.

* * *

The second meeting starts without much casualties.

It starts out much like the first. Rin explains the situation with a military posture, standing with her back straightened and ends her recap with a salute to the club president. Hanayo gives out a round of applause. Eri flings an apologetic look to Honoka for what happened yesterday. Maki opens her mouth to say something but promptly shuts up when Niko whacked her head with a rolled up notebook. Nozomi giggles delightfully, in contrast to Honoka's gloomy sighs. Kotori stays silent, guilt turning in her stomach, again, for the heart-wrenching incident yesterday.

Honoka sighs for the umpteenth time.

"I think it's now a well-established fact that Umi doesn't seem to fancy Honoka that much," Eri speaks up, trying to sugarcoat the bitter reality, and Honoka is at least grateful for that, "so shouldn't we focus on fixing the image of Honoka in her eyes?"

"Eri-chan is right," Hanayo nods, her expression sympathetic, and Honoka understands; she probably looks really miserable right now in front of her friends' eyes, "we can't push the two together when one of the party doesn't feel the same to the other half."

"Ah, I have an idea," Maki pipes in, standing up from her seat and in lightning quick speed she pinned Niko's hand which is holding her rolled notebook to the table, a countermeasure of Niko's legendary whacks, "I learned it from romantic movies I have watched. Why not try to serenade her?"

Honoka splutters a 'what' and raises an eyebrow, not having any idea of what she's supposed to do. Serenade. The word oozes a fairy tale-like feel totally unlike her _glorious _one-sided _teenage romance. _She decides she isn't fond of the word already.

"You know, singing a song from outside of the window of her room," Maki says in dreamy tone, "or even on her balcony, love songs of course, accompanied with a guitar…"

"Um, Maki-chan, that's really…'80s." Honoka can't agree more on Kotori and it's not like she can play a guitar anyway. Plus, she's not in the mood to pull a '_te amo!_' on anyone anytime soon. "B-but it's not like I'm questioning your taste, of course! _Esmeralda _is really good."

"I don't watch telenovellas!"

"Ahaha, who knows that the cool pianist Nishikino Maki enjoys sappy romance soap operas? Tough on the outside, housewife material on the inside—"

"Shut up already, Niko-chaaan!"

Honoka rests her head on the cold wooden table, ignoring Niko and Maki (who's face is as fierce red as her hair), and proceeds to recount yesterday's incident simply because she won't be able to forget it anyway. She recalls Umi's answer to Kotori's totally-subtle question, (she's being sarcastic, OF COURSE) as in, 'slacker' and the likes. The thing is, she can't help but dwell on it, as her crush's kind-of-accurate description of herself defines the kind of person she is in Umi's eyes. Between her crumbling love life and her idiotic, covert sadists of friends, one can't blame her for developing the habit of banging her head to the nearest wall or solid objects. Is she unconsciously a masochist somewhere?

* * *

The meeting resumes with nine people instead of eight. And of course, Project: SKANK is no longer the topic as the archer probably (definitely) wouldn't take Project: SKANK's goal of getting her and her hopeless childhood friend together as a couple nicely.

Honoka thinks so anyway.

She arrives at a conclusion that the world is actually out to get her and the only ally she has is her and herself only. As much as she loves her friends, whom she really, really does love, they're not exactly the sanest of matchmakers and their idea of love is pretty sketchy and questionable anyway. And then there's Nozomi.

She shrugs off the train of thought and tries to focus her attention on Eri, who's announcing something about a local kindergarten requesting Muse to do a play there. _Wait, what…?_

"And thus, I think it's best to not waste such offer as this is probably Muse's first debut in theatrical department."

"Nyaaa! A play! This will be _super _fun!"

"Yeah! Maybe I can get scouted by a director too!" Niko chirps gleefully, throwing her hands up in the air. "Yazawa Niko's debut in Hollywood!"

"Bollywood suits you better."

"Shut up, telenovella-girl."Niko imitates the gesture of those romantic beautiful men love interests in soap operas and speaks in baritone, "_Mademoiselle Maki, o, te amo_!"

Maki fumes and leans to front while her balled fist bangs against the table. Honoka lets out a horrified scream when she notices how her phone is just five millimeters away from her underclassman's fist.

"So!" Eri claps her hands to redirect the others' attentions towards her, "I guess we're taking up the offer. We're going to do a play about classic fairy-tale where the prince will save his princess from the clutches of the Demon King." She turns to Nozomi, and Honoka catches a meaningful smile adorning the blonde's lips, "Nozomi, can you write the script?"

"Ah, of course, Ericchi," Honoka swears the spiritual girl snuck a glance to her just now, quick and subtle but it's there, "my pleasure."

"A…auu…"

"Honoka, is something the matter?" Umi asks her, voice clouded with worry. Honoka jumps in her seat. She's pretty sure right now she looks as suspicious as Niko studying three weeks before exams in Umi's eyes.

"It's nothing!"

Umi frowns with her eyebrows but decides to drop the matter anyway. Honoka breathes in relief.

"Hmm, Umi-chan should be the princess." Nozomi says in the most casual way, carrying the Project: SKANK mission under pretense. Façade is one thing she's good at. "And maybe we can have Honoka-chan as the prince."

"W-wait, me?" Umi waves her hands in front of her frantically, "I can't! I'm not good at acting!"

"It's okay, I'm pretty sure Honoka-chan is bad at it too."

"Gee, thanks Nozomi-chan!"

Kotori whistles in, "Honoka-chan seems to be real eager in becoming the prince~" She does a secret hi-five with Eri. Honoka notices. Thankfully, the girl of her dreams doesn't.

"Honoka-chan as the prince…Umi-chan as the princess…a-ah, Nozomi-chan, please add in the _legendary _kissing scene…!"

"…Hanayo…?"

Umi turns to the leader, looking at her in askance. "Honoka, do you want to…?"

Honoka nearly hurts her neck when she whips her gaze from Nozomi's direction (she was _kind of _busy glaring daggers at the older girl) to Umi's. "Uh, no, wait, I mean, no, it's, uh, wait, I can't put it into words – I mean, it's up to you!"

Umi looks embarrassed, for whatever reasons, but Honoka passes it off as her being uncomfortable with acting out on stage. She's just suffering a severe of case of Umi and it's nothing unusual. That must be it. And since it's _Umi_, it's not like she was flustered with the fact that she's going to act as Honoka's soul mate…

_Right, Honoka, don't get your hopes up!_

"Ah, it's…it's just that – I can't, it's, I'm sure, me and Honoka, it's, it's bound to be awkward…" She starts off strong and firm but her voice slowly tapers off into a low murmur. Honoka finds it adorable and tries hard to not let a giddy grin crept up to her face. She fails miserably. "Err, Honoka…? Is there anything funny?"

"Eyaa…nope! Like, nope. Nope!"

Even though the prospect of doing a play where she's Umi's prince sounds nice and all, it won't do to force the other girl into the role. And thus, Honoka does something she'll probably regret later when she's about to sleep and proceeds to cry to herself throughout the night, but it's for the best, so.

"Let's just draw lots!" Honoka stands up from her chair, enthusiastic grin all over. "This way, it'll be fair for everyone. Hold on, I'll grab some chopsticks."

Hanayo follows her suit, "Ah, let me help you, Honoka-chan."

"Rin's fine with that, nyaa!"

"Honoka's right. It'll be fair that way." Umi nods, then exhales in relief.

"Maki should be one of the trees."

"Do you hate me that much, Niko-chan?!"

"Okay, okay, girls, as the scriptwriter, I'll write down the roles, okay? Hmm~ I wonder which role you will ended up with, Maki-chan~? Maybe as the queen to Nikocchi's king?"

"Oh my God, ew!"

"Niko-chan!"

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Is there a way to get myself beheaded without leaving a single trace of my existence behind? Because, really, I think the upcoming play will be A Fate Worse Than Death for me. It's starting in fifteen minutes and I haven't memorized even a single line. Niko-chan and Nozomi-chan are grinning devilishly at me as I write this and it's kind of frustrating._

_I swear I think the world's out to get me. _

_To put it in Hanayonese: someone please save me!_

_I should contact Tsubasa-san and asks if there's a space for a 4__th__ member there in A-RISE._

* * *

The sound of a grand medieval-esque orchestra blares loudly through the speakers hanging atop the stage signaling the play is starting. Honoka watches the red curtain rising from the backstage. Claps are heard from the audience, the children enthusiasm starting to rub off on her with all those too-wide grins and excitement overflowing from their eager applause, and Honoka thinks maybe the whole thing's not too bad.

She directs her attention back to the stage, and there Eri stands, wearing a silver armor and a thick red cape. Umi stands in front of her rather meekly, sporting a sky blue frilly dress that reaches to her toes. Honoka suddenly feels sick.

"O, my fair lady!" Eri calls out to the princess, her visor raised so they can communicate easier, her hand stretched dramatically, her tone of voice lower to capture the feel of a prince charming, "oh, how I long to see you, to be with you!"

"Truly, such thing is beyond me – as our love is indeed, a sin." Umi replies, clutching her hands in front of her chest with her expression somber.

A dramatic violin plays in the background to gives off a sad vibe. One of the teachers accompanying the children looks teary-eyed, reaching out to her small handbag to grab some tissues. The kid beside her plays with his snots.

The two actresses continue to spout sad romantic Shakespearean quotes after another and the background violin sounding more and more sorrowful, now with a dash of flute and clarinet. Honoka feels her heart break into two or three or six and turns her gaze elsewhere to the backstage. At least she doesn't have to see the love of her life being lovey-dovey with Eri, who's sadly, a hundred times cooler than her. At least she's man enough to admit the truth. Or girl enough. Or whatever.

She turns her head when she feels a tap on her right shoulder. Nozomi smiles back at her with a brow arched.

"Jealousy burns?"

"Aaaauuuggh, Nozomi-chaaaan…"

"It's about time," Nozomi points a finger to the stage, "well, good luck, Honoka-chan, or should I say…Demon King?"

"Ugh, I hate my life!" She drags her feet to the stage anyway, her black cape flowing just as dramatic as the violins accompanying the prince and princess' budding love.

* * *

There is _truly _no need to make her entrance any more dramatic, that even with her walking into the stage with shoulders sagged and her posture making a slouching curve, her tattered black cape and the obnoxious, _blinding _golden suit beneath screams louder than Niko and Rin arguing over Hanayo's riceball combined. The audience makes gasping noises, and one of the kid shouts to the protagonists, "Look out, good guys! It's the bad guy!" even though all she did was dragging her steps with her sulkiest frown imaginable. That and she haven't even said anything.

She puts her hands on her hips in attempt to look menacing and ends up looking like someone ran over her dog instead. "I am _Demon King Kounoka_," a cricket chirps from somewhere distant and she tries to remedy the situation by forcing out a villainous laugh, "err, _mwahahaha_…ha…ha."

The whole auditorium just stares at her with lips pursed in a tight line and their whole body unmoving. Even the previously hyper kids are all piped down and just…_sit _there with their eyes blank and expressions she isn't able to decipher. Honoka, sensing trouble, lets out an awkward cough and ruffles the top of her head with an excess bit of force, which causes her obsidian colored thorny-looking crown knocked off of her head and flies to one of the teachers' face. The snotty kid beside the unfortunate teacher mouths her, '_Jackpot!_'.

The deafening silence is slowly getting into her skin, not to mention the fact that the teachers are all shooting her their dirtiest look possible. Umi, on the other hand, has frozen on the spot, eyes locked onto the cold wooden stage underneath, and Honoka notices the way her hand – no, every bit of her _body _– trembles with a mix of shame and embarrassment and nervousness pooling inside her stomach and _fury_, directed at no one other than _her_. She gulps at the sight of Umi gritting her teeth, her jaw strained, because it might or might not be her way to thinly sandpaper her nearly uncontrollable killing intent.

Eri, being the cooler girl (than she will ever be) she is, whips out an index finger pointed at her, and shouts at the top of her lungs, "It's you! The evil, ruthless Demon King, Kounoka!" She draws her plastic sword with her right hand and pulls a fighting stance.

Since the girl she likes probably hates her to the moon and back, there is no need for her to hold back. Honoka sighs bitterly and decides to embrace the role of the cheap antagonist entirely, and replies to the prince charming in baritone, "I've come to take away your beloved!" She marches forward and swings her legs wide, almost skipping to the other side of the stage where the prince is there with her cowering princess, and viciously takes hold of the princess' wrist, pulling the gaping girl close to her and for a second, Honoka just…_stands there_, _kind of _hugging Umi from behind, her hand on the taller girl's hips and the other seizing Umi's hand, even though they must look really funny since the supposedly _Demon King _is a few centimeters shorter than the princess, but it's the way Umi relaxes under her hold that makes everything in the world suddenly looks la-la-right.

"No, you can't - !" Eri steps forward, looking grim. She tightens her hold at the plastic sword while the crowds cheer for her, and Honoka catches some of the kids, mostly boys, shouting followed with booing at the 'ugly Demon King Kounoka' for 'stealing the beautiful princess from the ungodly cool prince over there'.

"Then, I'll be waiting for you in my lair!" Honoka replies with a smug smirk, and retreats to the backstage with the princess in tow. Umi acts out a horrified scream while calling out to Prince El with her arms flailing wildly, which causes Honoka (who _has to _quickly side-stepping her way to the backstage _and _make sure she has a firm grip on the princess) to lose her balance and tumbles to the side. Umi, naturally, like one of those scenes from crappy teenage dramas, falls on top of her with both of her hands trapping the _Demon King_'s head, and their face a bit too _close_ for her liking.

"A—ah, I – " Umi stammers, unable to process what the _heck _is happening anymore, "H-Honoka, th-this is not, I,"

Honoka turns to the right simply because she wasn't presented any other choice. Turning to the left is out of question since that means she will have to brave through the inquisitive look from the girls, mocking laughter from the boys, and the scowls from the teachers. Having her gaze to the front is a _no-no _too due to the position she is currently in, she'll be staring straight at Umi's chest and that's equal to buying herself a one-way ticket to the scorching Hell. "Er, Umi-chan."

"Ah, w-wait, this is _not _–"

"Please…just…get off already," she manages to choke out sheepishly, "n-not that I don't _like _it, but, it's just, uh, not in front of the children?"

Honoka curses herself for forgetting about the existence of the wireless microphone just an inch from her lips.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Umi-chan hates me and there's nothing I can do about it except maybe atoning for my sins by setting myself on fire, which I'll probably do once the play's over._

* * *

"Are you alright, Honoka-chan?" Honoka's head jerks upward at the sound of the voice calling out to her, nearly spilling the pack of ice she's been holding against her colored bright scarlet, swollen right cheek. Kotori sits beside her, wearing a worried smile and her tone of voice hesitating now and then. She appreciates the sympathy, but Honoka feels that she had enough already of everyone, _literally everyone_, looking at her as if someone just put her kitten in an oven and heated the little ball of fluff up.

"Gee, I'm alright, Kotori-chan!" She answers, mustering up a smile, but not quite. It keeps trying to fight it out with a frown, but maybe, _maybe_, it's just that due to swell on her cheek that for the first time in her life smiling makes her wince in pain, and it's simply a biological reflex for her to be frowning, totally not because of her crush positively hating every bit of her existence, really. "No need to worry about me."

"Umi-chan must not have meant it, I mean, maybe, she only...er, _slapped _you in reflex, because of…e-embarrassment and her being a nervous wreck she is – "

"Nah, c'mon it's okay, Kotori-chan, can't you see that I'm fine?" She smiles to the designer, something reassuring and bright and Honoka-like, even though it feels like someone is swinging a mallet to her cheek over and over again, she can withstand the pain for a few seconds just fine.

Kotori opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out and it quickly dissolves into a smile. "Mm-hmm, alright, just don't hate Umi-chan for it, alright? I'm sure she has her reasons."

"Hey, hey, c'mon, there's no way I'll hate her, you know, right, because…" Her voice trails off as soon as she noticed the figure walking in to their direction: a girl in a sky blue dress, the beautiful pair of amber colored eyes she can't have enough of…the troubled, pale around the edges expression adorning her face, like something had shaken her; what was she doing, really? For her to walk around with that taut, straining dismay on her face? Must not be because she just slapped her _best friend _in the face so hard she left a glowing red, hand-shaped mark in said best friend's cheek, right?

Kotori claps her hand and beams up, oblivious of Umi just five steps behind her, "Because you **love **Umi-chan, right, Honoka-chan—"

Honoka responds with a frighteningly quick last resort to shut the other girl before she says anything else, which is by stuffing her ice pack into Kotori's mouth. Kotori, panicking in fear of gurgling medium-sized block of ices, flails her arms extravagantly and whacks Honoka in the cheek, as in, _the one with the violent swell_, to the point of knocking Honoka off of the folding chair she's been sitting at. In less than five seconds, Umi becomes the witness of the unfolding tragedy where she watches helplessly her two best friends knocking each other out; one coughing out block of ices while gripping her throat in desperation, the other lying sprawled on the floor out cold.

* * *

The play continues.

Niko, dressed up in a large cape that looks like three times the size of her own body, her hand twirling the artificial beard plastered onto her chin, the other groping out and takes hold of Maki's shoulder. "Do not worry, my queen," she says in her best rendition of manly voice, which is not much really, considering how she sounds like a girl who's still in her early stage of puberty, "for our daughter will come back safely, because we have a fine man like him!" She whips out a finger pointing to Eri, who's on her knee in front of them.

Maki wipes an invisible tear from the edge of her eyes, feigning a deep sorrow. "I can't – I, I – o my king, hold me…in…your arms," Maki forces out the last bit of her dialog which results in speaking out the awkward, borderline too perverse for kids, and not to mention _embarrassing _line in squeaky and choppy voice. She throws her arms around Niko's neck and pulls herself closer, albeit (half-)unwillingly, ignoring their height difference. Which, coincidentally, makes them look like a pair of a mother and her daughter instead of a married couple.

"Hey, don't you think we're _kinda _a bit _too _close?" Niko whispers to Maki in a hushed voice, though it doesn't do much since there's a microphone hanging just inch from her mouth.

"But it's in the script!"

"Duh, you're just looking for a reason to hug me, the _irresistible _Niko-nii."

"What—"

"Search your heart. You know it to be true."

"I—no, you, I, ugh—"

"Uh, Niko, Maki," Eri interrupts, still kneeling on the floor, "the show must go on."

Honoka watches the scene from the backstage, something about the king and queen asking the prince to save their beloved princess, yadda yadda, same old. She didn't really pay attention the whole time, and finds her thoughts doing U-turn back to a certain archer. She distractedly reaches out a hand to her right cheek, feeling a throbbing, stinging pain every time she touches her bulging cheek. Okay, Umi hates her now. For being an idiot she is. Something she can't take control of. Idiocy is incurable after all, and so is her streak of bad luck when it comes to anything resembling romance. It wasn't the first time Umi struck her, open-handed and across her face, but the springing image of it flashing in front of her eyes all over again hurts her. If she were someone else, say, Eri-chan, or Nozomi-chan, or Rin-chan, or anyone else, would Umi slap her the way she did? Or was it because she is _Kousaka Honoka_ she thinks it's alright for her to do so? For an instant, she feels like bursting into an insane, hysterical laugh. Then the urge passes and suddenly she feels like bursting into tears instead. Then it goes away too, leaving her impossibly tired and hollow inside. She closes her eyes, and all she sees is blue.

* * *

Her eyes blink once, twice, then thrice just to make sure. She can't believe the play is over and she made it through the end while still retaining her sanity. After a long, paralyzing moment where reality hits her in the skull and her mind jolts back to the present, she notices her surrounding; Niko and Maki bickering about something stupid, Hanayo helping Rin getting out of her monstrous Godzilla look-a-like costume, and Nozomi swaying her way towards her with a can of orange juice in her hand. Nothing out of the ordinary, and she's thankful that Umi is nowhere to be found.

She scrubs her face with one hand, absent-mindedly, winces from carelessly touching still-swollen cheek, and dimly aware of her face being streaked of her own tears and maybe snots. Her hand then crawls to the top of her head, ruffling her hair with a little bit more force she fears she might tear a strand or two. She's just there, tuning the rest of the world out while sitting hunched, her head in her hand, swallowing the sobs threatening to come out, squeezing her eyes shut and biting her own tounge for more ticking seconds, just to distract herself from another round of crying her eyes out. She feels a tap on her shoulder but doesn't bother looking up, or even opening her eyelids.

"Na, Honoka-chan," she recognizes the voice as Nozomi's, light and faintly ponderous, "you do realize that you look, reaaaally, saddening, aren't you?"

"And it's partly your fault."

"Well, the prince and the princess _had to _kiss, you know? That's how fairy tale works."

She raises her head with eyes half-opened, staring into the front all-smudgy and out of focus, her hand still supporting her head. She stays like that for a long time, breath holding almost still in her chest. After a long, agonizing silence, she lets out a voice so quiet, just audible to the girl who's sitting with one of her leg slung above the other. "She had no problem with Eri-chan kissing her." Nozomi goes silent to see if anything else would follow that. "She had a problem with _me_."

"You're being too negative," she turns to face Nozomi, who's holding out a can of drink for her to take, "it's because it's _you_."

"It can't be helped. They kissed. Happy end."

"They didn't."

"Sure, they didn't," before she could go on with the rest of the sentence, she notices something was amiss and quickly backpedals, eyes going wide, "wait, what?"

Nozomi heaves a sigh, and shoves the dripping wet, no longer cold can of juice to Honoka's hand, and says in a small, calm voice Honoka likens to that of a summer breeze. "Well, you ran out when they were about to kiss anyway. I guess, you didn't catch the part where Niko brought down the curtain to end the play just when they were about to do the sacred ritual. Please do remember that children made up the ninety percent of the audience."

Honoka just stares at Nozomi for what seemed like an eternity. She tries out, slow and cautious. "Are, are you serious?"

"Well, for once, I was _there _and not crying my eyes out in the toilet."

Honoka, now shaken with a mix of relief and shock at the _shocking _turn and twist of the event, brusquely stands up, preparing herself for another _shocking _outcome should there be one. _Did I even hear her right?_ she questions herself, gritting her teeth hard while her brows knit and her eyes dart from the corner of the dimly-lit backstage to another corner.

"She was really worried, you know, that Umi-chan, " Nozomi taps a finger once, twice to her chin as if to look rather thoughtful, "looking for you all over the place with guilt in her eyes..."

"Where is she now?!" Honoka asks, which comes out nearer to a shout, and frantically shakes Nozomi's shoulders while her empty can of juice makes a tumbling sound as it bounces lightly onto the floor and rolls for a few steps away. Nozomi widens her eyes before a bigger smile screaming mischief blooms on her face.

"She went home already."

"Argh!"

"The poor girl, ridden with guilt, riddled with self-blame and..."

Honoka lets go of the upperclassman, and pauses for another long, stretching seconds of her life, her brains processing the latest information while also thinking what to do next, and overheating in the process. She imagines she could practically see cartoonish ashen smoke just above her head, drawn in crude crayons. "I _have _to talk to her!" She declares, a little too loudly, then draws a long breath, lets it hiss out slowly, then turns one-hundred and eighty degrees to run towards the exit. Unfortunately, she freezes on the spot before she manages to break off into a sprint at the sight.

Hanayo stands there, singing encouragements for her, throwing her fist in the air. Niko, with her smirk leaning a little bit to the left for her liking, and her arms crossed all knowing and empowering. Rin patting her in the shoulder, smiling a big doofy grin. Kotori, giving her a thumbs-up while phoning Umi, probably telling the girl to stay put in her house for a _pleasant _surprise. Maki, on the other hand, holds out a worse for the wear ukulele with Hawaiian postcard stickers plastered around it's body here and there, the stickers having a yellowish hue due to the age.

"I borrowed it from the light music club," Maki says, voice low yet warm, "I thought that something like this would happen."

Honoka holds the ukulele in her hand, feeling its age-old body and fears of it breaking into pieces in her clumsy hands. "And, uh, what am I supposed to do with this – " she stops mid-sentence once she jogged her memory and everything clicked home.

"Serenade her."

"Right."

She feels a light shove from behind her. "Go. Ericchi is waiting for you outside the school with a..._transportation_ ready."

She mouths a heartfelt 'thanks' to her comrades, and sprints towards the door with all her might, her black cape swaying _dramatically _as she bolts through the hallway, and even though halfway along the way her feet starts screaming in protests, she smiles anyway.

_Ah, the joy of friendship. If only they don't act so dumb most of the time. _

She reaches outside, about time where her legs give out on her, feeling the wind hitting her like a torrent of fists. She stands with her back straightened and arms wide apart, and for the first time in the past few days, she smiles broader and truer than ever.

She closes her eyes, and all she sees is blue.


End file.
